what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Too much gin, very little bucket
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
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