words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
