I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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