Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
