Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
