for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
