she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
