wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
