either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
