just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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