This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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