found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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