Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
