Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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