I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
cat food counts as protein by the way
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
