he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
