maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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