??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
