pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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