the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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