I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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