Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have feelings that need drinking.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
