Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
