Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
