I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
