so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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