Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
