i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
