I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
