Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
