Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
