Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
