You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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