Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Michael Bay diarrhea
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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