Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
