I want to have your abortion
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
