thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
