you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
