just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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