So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
