What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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