Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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