i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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