haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This baby is an asshole
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
