Your dad touched me again.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
