THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
