evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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