That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
