people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
