it hurts more in the daytime
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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