Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
