I will die if light touches me.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
