yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
