mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
