chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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