he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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