so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
