i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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