Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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