I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
