yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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