you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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