I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
