I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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